The Boyfriend

Just a forewarning Colin talks a lot of smack but he truly is a great guy.

So, my mom and I were talking to, Colin, a friend of mine this morning, we actually got onto the topic of a guy friend that I have. As soon as I mentioned him Colin asked, “is this a boyfriend?” I stepped back and replied, “No, no no, I love him dearly but we are just really good friends.” Colin started saying that it was a good thing cause he’d have to grab his gun and go have a talk with him. We talked for an hour or more and if we got off topic he would bring it back.

Colin gave me a list of what I should look for in a guy and if my boyfriend wasn’t that then he’d shoot him. Ya know it’s something I’ve known but listening to a guy who cares about you say it the way Colin does it changes things. No, he hasn’t changed my mind about what I should look for, my mom has taught me well, but it still changes things, it’s weird.

But his list was this,

If he’s not a guy that treats you well, I’ll have to have a “talk” with him.

If he touches you and you are uncomfortable, I’ll be on his doorstep with my gun.

If he is abusing you physically, I’ll hunt him down and shoot him.

If he’s abusing you emotionally, your mom and I will go and have a “talk” with him.

If he hurts you in anyway shape or form, “I’ll let your mom rip his head off and then I’ll shoot him.

You don’t need to put up with any crap, he should be a hard working gentleman that sees you as you are and loves you for you. He should treat you like you are his princess and should guard you with his life. He needs to support you emotionally, physically, and financially. If you have a problem with him, I’ll shoot him.

The only thing personally that I would add to that is this, the Bible tells you not to be unequally yoked together, so me being uh.. Non-denominational, I shouldn’t marry an atheist. I should marry someone who believes in the same God and in the whole Bible.

Girls, don’t fall in love with the first boy who looks at you. They may even treat you nice for a few months and you could think they are the best thing that has ever happened to you but you need to take time, and really get to know them. Because they could slowly be turning into a huge jerk and you could totally miss it. Find someone you trust that will help you approve of them because some times the saying “Love is blind” is all to real. I have three people that I am going to get my boyfriend approved by when the time comes, I have Colin, my mom and another friend of mine. It makes me laugh though because Colin wants to approve my friend before my friend approves of my boyfriend..

You don’t need to put up with someone who is ill-mannered even if you think they love you because no matter how much they might say they love you if they are treating you like crap it’s not worth it and they don’t love you all that much.

I’ve been on this earth for 17 years now, and I’ve not had a single boyfriend and I’m ok with that because I haven’t had to go through 50 million boyfriends and I don’t plan on it. I haven’t had to go through the emotional trauma every time a boy dumps me for a prettier girl or anything like that.

So for any of you boys who have made it through this, Treat your girlfriend like she is precious because she is, and when you get married to her make sure you treat her like she is gold. All of this goes for you too, don’t let your girlfriends treat you like crap but be respectful of each other.

Alright, I think that is all I have to say on this subject.

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Will you speak up?

What do you do?

You have one friend bashing another but all of the people involved  are really close to you. Do you stick up for the friend that is being talked down, even though he is not around? Even though the consequences could end up with the person who is closest to you being very upset with you and possibly making it so you can’t see your friend?

I’ve learned something over the past few months. Especially for a friend you should show up whether they are there or not regardless of the people around you, friends are supposed to build each other up and if you don’t stop the rumors and correct what people think about that person you aren’t building them up. In fact you are basically handing people a wrecking ball and saying “Have fun!” If you are allowing others to rip down your friend, how can you be considered their friend? Would they appreciate it more if you put their relationship on the line to defend them? I don’t know, I should’ve asked and maybe later I will. But I look at it like this, if you put the relationship at risk to defend them, how much more would they appreciate it if the friendship continued afterwards? That would be a friendship I would value.

Recently whether either situation has to do with that or not I don’t know, but what I do know is that it has shown me how important it is to stick up for someone. Simply sticking up for them or even someone you don’t know, could save a life, a job, even a friendship.

It is funny to me because I have a friend who is always telling me that if any guy messes with me he will be on their doorstep with a gun. It makes me feel good, not in a ooy-gooy way of “aww.. he loves me.” But the fact that he cares enough that whether the guy is abusive or not, he is willing to put his life on the line to defend me. I pretty much know that if I called him at 3 a.m. in the morning and told him that I was in trouble he would hunt me down and then take out whoever is messing with me.

To give someone that feeling that they are important enough for someone to defend… It changes perspective, and unless you are really good friends you don’t know exactly what that person is going through. So even having one person stand up for them can make a difference…

It’s good to know that you have a friend who will build you up and not allow others to disrespect you. Be that friend who is willing to stand up for your friends, regardless of who is watching, who is talking about them, especially if you know that is not who that person is. If you can’t stand up and defend a friend how are you going to defend what you believe in?

God Bless,

Jess

Horses: A God Given Blessing

           I spent 3 hours riding my wonderful horse that God has blessed me with yesterday. Near the end of our ride I galloped him and let him run with all he had and there was a sense of freedom that came with doing that.

            As with most situations in order to trust someone, you need to get past the initial fear of them hurting you. I can go lay on the ground while my horse stands over me, knowing at any moment he could jump forward and step on me. I also get on my horse and ride him with nothing to control him, in doing this I know that I could lose control over my horse. The reason I can do all that isn’t a matter of training it’s the fact that I have built a relationship with him and it has taken a couple years but I can trust him to do that. With a lot of people it’s the same way with God, you have to build a relationship and seek God out before you can really start to trust that He isn’t going to hurt you.

            You might do something to hurt you but God wont, just like my horse, almost all of our problems come from something I have done, if I fall it is because I didn’t prepare right. I lost communication with him for a brief moment and it caused me to fall.

            The relationship can be scary some times and you don’t know what will happen, with my horse (most of the time) I can trust that he wont put me in a situation I can’t handle. God is going to test you, if you will trust Him you can stay in peace, He won’t test you past your ability.

            Now for the fun part, after I built my trust and relationship with my boy, finally after 5 years I gave him more of my trust while we were riding in this huge field. Horses have the ability to reach 40 mph, in the process they can come to a dead stop when you are least expecting it and can turn on the spot. After he nagged me a bit, he knew I could handle it and he wanted to go, I loosened the reins and gave him the ok, because he wanted to go so badly, he accelerated so fast you could feel and hear each hoof land and you could feel the moment of suspension, it felt like we were flying. There was such a freedom in letting him do something he wanted to do and at the end of it we both felt amazing!

            God does the same thing, He says, “Come on, you are ready, trust me.” Some times we can hold Him back, He is ready to go and is waiting for you to give Him control, it can be scary not knowing where or when God is going to turn or stop but if you stay in communication you won’t fall. When you finally come to a point of trusting God and let Him have control amazing things can happen and there will be a new sense of freedom and confidence.

            Some times in the process of letting go or getting to that point I end up hurting my horse, not physically but emotionally. As weird as it may sound to some people, horses have very strong emotions, I’ve gotten upset with Chester for not doing exactly what I was telling him when I was telling him, in reality you can’t do that. I’m not communicating with him in the way I should because I don’t want to wait or because he’s done it a million times before why aren’t you doing it now? The funny thing is that Chester is so forgiving that when I make those mistakes he seems to act like they never happened. We have a tendency to do that with God where we get upset because he isn’t doing what we want him to do. We make a lot of mistakes that have nothing to do with that even. But each time we make a mistake if we come to God with a humble heart He will forgive us and He remembers what we have done no more.

            My last comparison is this, when I am out laying in the pasture in the midst of nine, one thousand pound animals that could trample me if that’s what they decided was fitting at the time, I am completely defenseless, I have nothing to protect myself. Lucky for me I have a horse who loves me dearly and he keeps all the other horses away from me. He has a 20’ circle around me and if any of the horses push it he chases them off comes back and sniffs me then continues to stand over me. Some people who know horse psychology might say that it is just dominance and he wants everyone to know that you are his, but I argue that with, when a horse comes near me some times he is ok with it but the first time that horse paws at me Chester won’t let a single horse near me after that other than him and my other personal horse. He knows what could cause me to get hurt…

            So here again, first of all God is a jealous God, He wants you to want Him and only Him. But God is our protector, when we are defenseless He is protecting us with all that He has and as much as we’ll allow Him.

There you have it, now I will say this it is not every horse you can do this with I’m using my personal horse Chester for this, there are horses like my other personal horse, she is a mustang, who are just complete nut jobs and shouldn’t be trusted with anything, who will protect you from nothing, and want to see how high she can throw you.. So please don’t read this and go out thinking every horse is like Chester. Even Chester has moments when I know I can’t trust him, when it is windy, he is afraid of everything, even his own tail… I wrote this like I did to maybe help any others that have horses like Chester to come to a better understanding of God.