With Father’s Day having been yesterday and having a dad who wasn’t there for us and when he was he was verbally abusive for the last 18 years raised the question in my mind, what defines a Father?
Looking through some different dictionary definitions you get someone who supports and nurtures, provides AND protects, and one who takes the child as his own whether by adoption or otherwise, to take as one’s own work, to acknowledge as one’s author or take responsibility for.
Not someone who is completely cut off or emotionally/physically abusive. It is someone who cares.
Someone who is willing to pick you up when you fall, guide you and teach you. Someone who loves you no matter what you do and will always be there for you. Someone who cares about you and isn’t afraid to show it. He is also the one to teach his daughter how she should be treated because she will learn how her husband should treat her by the way he treats her mother.
For the dad’s who are reading this do your daughter a favor and treat her like she is one of the most valuable things you will ever have because she is. I’ve lived 18 years being verbally battered by my “dad” I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. He now has to live with knowing that this young lady wants nothing to do with him and she is a hard worker, loving, and just freaking awesome, I stay out of trouble, the most trouble I get into is getting yelled at by mom because the house is a wreck from the little kids and he has to live with knowing that he is going to miss out on my future.
I think what some men don’t understand is the worth that they have to their daughters no matter how old their daughter is, raised right they wont care how much money you make or how well known you are she will love you no matter what. To a daughter you as a father will matter more than you could ever imagine. That isn’t a bridge you want to burn, when it comes to your work or your family, your work can replace you, but your daughter will always be there and she’s the one who will (should) always look up to you.
And the two hardest things for me to deal with growing up was my self-esteem and I have this very childish side of me that I have to deal with. Because some times all I want to do is curl up in my daddy’s lap and just sit there, or curl up into his chest and lay there. After being adopted so to speak by a friend of the family my self-esteem problems are not nearly what they were, but I still live with that side of me that I hate because it is so child and I’m a young adult so it frustrates me. But to be important enough to someone that they would take me under their wing the way he has done for me has been above and beyond anything I could ask for.
Honestly it has been a long hard road to find a mentor, someone who could teach me what I’ve learned over the last few months. I’ve become a more creative thinker, I’m more confident in myself, I know how I should be treated, and I’m much happier in general. So dad’s treat your girls well, cherish them. You’ve had a very small look to what it does to a girl what I have written here barely touches the problems I have had and had. Don’t let your girls get to that point and girls, if you have a dad, respect him, love him, because life without a dad is rough and it creates a lot of crap.