Friends

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Have you ever felt invisible? It is something I very much would love to accomplish most days, but some days I just wish someone would notice. And not just anyone, but someone similar to me, someone who enjoys the same things, shares in my sense of humor, and knows how to simply be a friend. No, I’m not talking about boyfriends or girlfriends, I’m talking a Friend, a person to lean on, who has a decent head on their shoulders that you trust to not lead you into trouble. Someone that when I say, “Hey, you want to go trail riding?” or running, or hiking, or pull out the guitars, or shooting, or whatever. They will be ready to go. Obviously, everyone has a life so it wouldn’t be all the time, but come on, at least once or twice a month!

I have never been good at making friends, I tried once, recently actually, and it failed. They said they were interested in being friends, however, not so much…

I have two people that I talk to on a regular basis, then I have one who claims to be my friend but refuses to speak to me, and another who is a friend but he has a life, friends who are closer to his age, and so we talk and see each other occasionally. But nothing more really.

There is also a girl I am trying to figure out, she has some crap she’s dealing with and I can see she needs a friend who is not a trouble maker, and has a level head on their shoulders but still knows how to have fun, and I swear she sees right through me despite my attempts to get her to notice me. Sure we talk, but she has yet to actually, “take the bait” so to speak.

I have been in contact with so many people and no one cares to be around me and I don’t understand it! Mom says it’s because I’m too good. I won’t go getting into trouble… -_-

Keep in mind I’m really not complaining. Here’s why.

I can’t find anyone I want to be around. I out man all the boys, I like being outside, and to the boys, 70 degrees is either way to hot, or way too cold. And yes, the boys are afraid of a little horsey poo and dirt. It’s disturbing to me. Or they go the other direction and they cuss up a storm, sleep with everything that is woman, or drinks to an oblivion. However, I find that there are more guys that I can talk to better than girls because girls are just…. Drama… Boyfriend dumped me, I need a boyfriend, everyone must hate me because I don’t have a boyfriend. Do I look good? Is my makeup ok? Is my butt too big? Does this make me look fat? Oh. My. Gosh….. Just make it stop… Find a ratty holey t-shirt and a pair of jeans and shoes that are comfy and get on with life. I promise I am not poking fun at anyone, I just don’t understand it. I’m 19 going on 20 this February and I have yet to have a boyfriend, I have never worn makeup and my outfits consist of beat up T’s or tank tops, with either yoga pants or jeans and a pair of dirty worn down boots.

But you see, I think this is what society is missing, it is missing friends. Young people don’t know how to just be friends, they are either in a relationship or they are acquaintances. See to me, a friend is someone that you can count on, someone that is there for you physically, and emotionally. Someone who is going to tell you when you are being stupid and help you when you need it. Again, I understand people have lives but seriously, everyone should have at least one GOOD friend, rather than 100 acquaintances. However, there are very few people that can keep up with someone who wants to hang out outdoors and even fewer who want to be that pillar to lean on when all heck breaks loose in the other person’s world.

The other factor is knowing why they are there for you too, because now days they may be there for you only to take it and turn it into gossip for the whole freaking world. I was in that situation once, where I had no one to talk to really besides my mom and so I turned to another teenager who had been through the same situation with this same person and in a week the information I had given her was spread through my church.

My  mom wants me to get out and do something with people I just can’t find anyone that doesn’t want to go hangout at a mall or sit around a room. I want someone that I can go hiking or riding with. I don’t want to sit in front of a t.v. or watch them surf facebook from their phone.. THIS IS WHY I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!!!!! I’m high maintenance… I really am.

I try to appease to my friends’ needs, but some times I want to get out and get covered in dirt or shoot something! Which is why I want a bow now, because I can’t use mom’s glock at free will, plus you have to buy ammo where the bow you can just go get your arrows…. Although, I just found out in the state of Texas I am old enough to get a firearm, that makes me happy!

So all this to say, consider expanding your territory. Do something different, something new, be a friend before being a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you can accomplish being a friend, which no, doesn’t necessarily mean being outside all the time, you pretty much have it made. Some of the best relationships come from friendships if both parties know how to be friends.

With all the peer pressure young people face, it is time to go back to the basics. If you can’t have a friendship, you won’t be able to have a happy marriage. And honestly the outdoors is more likely to bring people closer together than a videogame console or a phone with internet or a t.v. It’s just my personal opinion for whatever it’s worth.

OH OH OH! And that’s the other thing, I was about to shut up. Not anymore…

Friends are suppose to build each other up! Not greet each other with, “Hey B**** how’s it goin?” It’s just not right! I see it everywhere! Especially with teens and young adults, they call each other every curse word in the book some days, and I don’t understand it. It’s not cute, or funny. It may not feel like it’s a big deal, but there is a part of you deep down that is affected and it will eventually come out even if you don’t realize it.

Okay, I’m done now…

God Bless,

Jessica

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