Trust, Love, and Hope

Trust-Issues-Quotes (4)

That *points to the picture above* seems to be everywhere you look. Don’t trust, because you might get hurt, don’t love because you might get hurt, don’t hope because why? Oh yeah, you might get hurt.. I think that goes along with everything else too, why don’t we just stop living life, don’t drive your car because you might get into an accident, don’t ride horses because you might die, don’t use a computer or your phone because it could give you neck problems… you might get hurt… Are you catching my drift here?

I don’t know why, I saw that picture today and it set off a small explosion in me. We have enough people who are hurt and more than willing to not trust, or love, or hope. WHY ARE WE GOING TO ENCOURAGE IT?!?! Why give them one more reason to remember why they shouldn’t?! Why not give them a reason to remember why they should?! Quit helping them focus on why not!

I don’t know, I guess since I have my own issues with trust and love and the fact that I wish so badly sometimes that it would be more simple for me to trust and love people, that is part of why that “quote” if you will, is striking such a nerve in me. Yes, I’ve been hurt many times, have I let it dash my hope? No. Have I let it ruin my trust? To a certain degree, yes. Have I let it crush my love? Ehh, I suppose it depends.

Yes, I know we should use wisdom in determining who can be trusted and who can’t be trusted. However, as mom always says “A funny look from someone could just be gas.” A lot of times we read too much into a situation, people who have left us were there for a reason and likely, it wasn’t anything you did or said that caused them to drop off the face of the earth. Sure, that might not always be the case, but we have to be careful to not read in too much. But, that shouldn’t stop us from trusting people. I know it can seem so complicated, because no, you shouldn’t trust everyone, but you shouldn’t not trust anyone either. I’ve always thought having a handful of people to trust in was a good thing, I have 7 or 8 people that I talk to about different things, one of them is my mother, 5 of them are men who have adopted me as their daughter, and two of them are friends, one of those friends is iffy anyway. However, these are all people who have earned my trust over a period of time, or I have had that gut feeling that I can trust them. I think with that comes a certain level of love also. Even though I think there might only be two people that I open up to about everything, each person has a level of trust and because of that I have a stronger liking, love if you will, that would cause me to move mountains for them.

And see, here’s the kicker, at least in my brain, in order to love someone, really love someone, you have to have a trust built with them anyway. I mean, you aren’t going to look at some random person off the street and instantly fall in love with them. At least, I would hope not.. But you are going to build a friendship, a relationship, form a bond with that person which will create a trust as that bond grows. If that person leaves, it isn’t your love that is damaged. It’s your trust. You may think “Well what about people who start getting mean and not caring about anyone?” I know from experience, when someone is trying to use hurt to keep people away so they don’t “love” anymore. It isn’t because they are too hurt to love, it’s because they don’t want to trust anyone enough to love them. They are afraid if they love someone that person will let them down, and that my friends, that is a trust issue not a love issue.

As for hope, I don’t know that I have too much to say there. I’ve always been taught to be hopeful and I guess I am to a point, but I am also very pessimistic. Though, I think the pessimism keeps me from getting into trouble and keeps a level head on my shoulders. Because even though I can see the good in a situation, I always know something very wrong could happen just as easily. Watching my mom struggle for 19 years over something that had gone on for 21 years total, saying that things would change, things would get better, nothing can stay this messed up for too much longer. Then watching it all fall apart and ending the way it did after all the effort she and I put into it, yes, it did crush my hope a bit, because I don’t ever want to be stuck in that kind of a situation for that long or even half that long. My pessimism kicks in and says “HEY! Stupid! It’s not going to change.” I fight with it for a little bit, find my bearings and either move on while I let the problem naturally sort itself out, or I get up and walk away without looking back. Unless my optimism is overriding and I really feel like I should stick with it. I know I can be overly pessimistic sometimes and it drives me crazy because it is far too easy for that pessimism to put you down in the slumps. But here again, just as with the trust  issue, my hopefulness or lack of it is something I also know that I need to correct.

Anyway, there you have it, don’t focus on everything that could go wrong. Don’t trust all, but trust enough that you have people to take care of you, using wisdom and generally a gut feeling works you can figure out who’s worth your trust or not, love all, but really love the ones you trust, and keep hope at a healthy level, use it daily and your world will be that much brighter.

Y’all have a good day, or a goodnight, whenever y’all are reading this.

God Bless,

Jessica

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