Boundaries

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If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past year and past several years actually, it’s that when it comes to relationships whether it’s a parent child relationship, or a couple’s relationship, or a friendship, it really is all about the boundaries.

You can’t let your boundaries slip. You have to stick to your boundaries no matter what is going on. Because even though you look at the situation and go, “Huh, I can allow this for the time being until this happens.” No… It doesn’t work like that. If you allow it to slip for any period of time people will expect you to continue making that exception for them no matter how many times they may have said they don’t expect you to make that exception. Reality is when you get spoiled it’s hard to revert.

I fight with it when I get sick, it isn’t that I don’t feel good enough to work, it’s that you get that two or three days where the family kicks in to take care of the hard work and then you just don’t want to work… You want everyone to just keep doing what they’re doing. When reality is that just can’t happen. Life doesn’t work like that. And when you’re dealing with a relationship of any sort it is way harder because you have two or more people you have to take into consideration how they are going to feel and react to a change.

Granted, allowing those boundaries to slip a little might feel really good at the moment. For a couple of months even, but in the long run it will pay off. They won’t be able to try to run you over because they don’t respect you… It’s kind of like a horse. If you allow them to come into your personal space repeatedly without reprimand, they will run you over and when you do go to reprimand them you run the risk of getting kicked or bit or plowed to the ground shoot, maybe even all three if they really don’t like you. Horses are the best at teaching boundaries, at least in my opinion. Now, for people like me the boundaries lesson doesn’t really flow over to people very well unless I get fed up with it enough that I just won’t take it anymore. I don’t really have a healthy way of dealing with that stuff, it’s generally one extreme or the other. I’ve found that I suck at dealing with people because I let them run right over me way too often. In fact, I get in trouble with one of my mentors for allowing my clients to run me over. It’s kind of sad..

Boundaries really are important in every aspect of life, with work, children, animals, friends, partners, spouses… It’s even important in every area of life, because as a wife, you have boundaries on how your husband should treat you and it goes for the same with husbands and the same for the guy and girl in a partnership. As a parent you have boundaries on how your child should act, as friends, how your friend should treat you.. How your co-workers should treat you.

And by golly! In boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, physical contact is a BIG boundary that SHOULD BE RESPECTED. Under no circumstances should this boundary be allowed to budge. If someone isn’t patient enough wait for physical contact then maybe they aren’t the right person for you. You deserve someone who respects you.

There, I feel that I have said my piece now.

Remember, boundaries are often negated, people may tell you that you are being paranoid or overly sensitive, or that boundaries aren’t important. Don’t worry about them. Actually, ask them if you can punch them in the face, when they say no, ask them why, when they tell you that it’s because it would hurt and they don’t want their face damaged because it’s important, just tell them that you don’t want to get hurt emotionally and that your boundaries are just as important, if not more important than their face… Ok… that might be a little extreme, and you might have to improvise if they don’t respond right.. BUT I think I like it!

Anyway, I’m done now.

God Bless,

Jessica

P.S. PLEASE don’t punch anyone! It’s just a joke! Sort of… No matter how much they might deserve being punched… Well.. if they are actually physically harassing you, then it’s ok to punch them. But if there’s another way around it (shooting isn’t nice either) then let’s take a less violent approach of dealing with it… Unless someone’s actually assaulting you and putting yourself and/or others in danger.. Then I’m pretty sure it’s ok to shoot them. Or punch them… Or beat them with a flip flop… or a Twizzler (my mom’s weapon of choice when I harass her). ALRIGHTY I’m going to stop now before I get myself into trouble lol. Seriously though, be safe, keep your boundaries strong, and have fun!

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