With the new year here and big changes to come I am left in a stressed out mess of completely terrified and elated all at once. Well, more in shifts I guess… I have exactly 19 days before school starts… 29 days before I must make a final decision about trying to make a seminar 6 hours away two weeks after school starts… Still trying to figure out how my work is going to fit into the schedule along with making time for my ponies, and hopefully Jiu-Jitsu, AND still make time for my family… Not to mention all the “What If’s” running through my chaotic thoughts, what if it becomes too stressful, what if I’m not making grades, what if I decide it’s just not my thing and I don’t like it?! Then it turns into, what about my ponies? What if I don’t have time for my ponies?! And then I know me well enough to know that I NEED down time where I’m not doing anything… Otherwise I become extremely emotional and grouchy… I also know that I need to be able to make time for me to do something that I love, i.e. Horses and/or Jiu-Jitsu because I still need to have something to take my mind off of school. I also know that I’ve never been away from my mother for extended periods of time, and even when I’m home with her but we don’t have time to hang out I start to miss her, I can’t imagine not being able to see her all day every day!
Just thinking about it I feel my chest tighten… But here’s the thing. We are all going into a new year, we all have goals, things we want to accomplish… Most new years have just been another day added to all the rest. But this year… This year for me is going to be completely out of my comfort zone. It’s going to push me in ways I’ve never been pushed, take me to places I’ve never been.
This last year I’ve learned that people can be downright ugly, but they can also be God’s light.
I’ve learned that sometimes, doing things without thinking them through can at times be the best thing that has ever happened. Or the worst. You have to use wisdom to some degree.
I’ve learned that God has plans… They may scare the crap out of me now and they may not make much sense, but through it all, God’s got it.
I don’t know y’all, 2016 is going to be one heck of a ride for some of us. A horseman once told me, “Ride that horse like it’s your grandma’s and hope she wasn’t a bronc rider.” So here goes to riding this year like it’s going to be a smooth ride and trying to not stress over things I have no control over. We just have to get to our destination before we can start building. You can’t plan if you only have a thought on what the ground might be like.
Happy New Year’s,
And may God bless you richly.