Ask me why I love my boyfriend and I’ll tell you this…
He knows how to treat a lady, he opens my doors, he doesn’t let me walk on the side that traffic flows, if we are in a crowded place he keeps contact with me so that he doesn’t lose me, if we come across a person who concerns him he keeps himself between me and that person, he never touches me in a way that is inappropriate or makes me uncomfortable, he is soft spoken, goofy, loyal, tender, and knows when to be serious, he knows how to apologize and own his crap way better than I probably ever will unless he starts to rub off on me, he’s caring and tender and he listens, he listens to what I have to say and I don’t have to worry about him helping me keep a conversation going, he’s a great teacher, he’s patient, encouraging, he has yet to make me feel stupid, he realizes my independence and embraces it (at least so far), he realizes my fears, concerns and worries and has a crazy way of calming them and working around them without getting frustrated by them, he’s my ray of sun on gloomy crummy days and the eye within a hurricane… He wants to help me accomplish my dreams and he wants to see me rise and be the best that I can be, he wants me to work if I want to, not because I have to. He cares enough about me that he’s sacrificing having his own children because I don’t want to get pregnant and would rather adopt, he’s got a walk with God, and he thoroughly enjoys the horses, my safety and my happiness are priority for him.
If you asked me before I met him if I would date a member of the armed forces or a first responder, I would have told you no. Definitely not a Police Officer, Firefighter or Military personnel; I heard too many bad stories and heard of too many messed up marriages because of the stereotypical “Hero” complex and anyone working in those fields had to be narcissistic misogynists or have absolutely no give a dang about their life.
Remeeting a childhood friend with the idea that I wasn’t interested in a relationship, he wasn’t interested in a relationship, he was deployed in Kuwait and I was in the states, and even still, his home was 8 hours away. I wasn’t worried about ending up in a relationship.
I’ll admit, when I found him my heart kind of dropped a bit because I thought he had a family, but that was a bigger concern because the likelihood of him talking to me was slim. But when I was told he was single, I had a little tug at my heart hinting that my single life was about to be over.
I didn’t push it, we talked the first three days via facebook before he finally asked if he could call me. When he asked if he could call me, I think my heart skipped a beat. I don’t think I’ve told him this, but the amount of excitement that built up in me at moment when I realized he WANTED to talk to me, was just funny… Almost ridiculous, I remember sitting in the truck on my way home from college feeling soothed and anxious at once, excited, nervous… That whole probably turning red and butterflies in the stomach feeling… And then, we talked on the phone and I knew then and there I was in trouble. I knew I was going to end up liking him as more than a friend.
We hit it off and started heading in that direction quickly, I loved talking to him, and still love talking to him. He’s a phenomenal young man! Does he have quirks, yes. He does, but who doesn’t? Does the good outweigh the quirks or the less desired traits, heck yes… Would I follow him to the ends of the earth as our relationship grows more and more serious and the time is right? Yes… Just the same as he would follow me.
They say that love is a commitment; that love is a daily choice that you wake up and every day you choose to love that person. On their good days, as well as their bad days. I fully believe that if our relationship stays centered around God and we continually seek his guidance and counsel, our relationship and lives will flourish.
We have things that need some tuning, and as we continue to get to know each other, we have somethings that we are going need to adapt. But if you love someone you’ll better yourself for that person and if I want to be the best that I can be for CJ and he wants to be the best he can be for me, we are set.
Talking to him tonight, I made a simple comment, granted, maybe not so simple on my part, but still so simple, and watching his whole demeanor change the way it did… Oh my gosh… It may have melted my heart a little… Seeing him on Skype and hearing him on the phone, I could tell that a decision he’s been looking at was wearing on him. Tonight it was wearing on him bad… But that simple statement brightened him so much, it only confirmed what I had told him. It made me realize I think just how much he really did care about my wellbeing in the decision. I knew he cared, but it didn’t really click until that moment just how much. Seeing it on him like that…
So here’s the thing, yes, I came to love an Army Soldier when I said I wouldn’t date one nor was I even wanting a boyfriend, granted, he is likely on his way out of the army and for that I am thankful. But, I had come to a point in my life where I wasn’t worried about finding a life partner. This man who was a soldier and seemed far too perfect to let go quickly stole my heart and began dispelling a lot of my fears of being in a relationship and when I realized that my fears were settling and it’s been 7 months now and those fears have yet to come up again, it makes me that much more comfortable.
The thing is, not what their job is. I’m learning with armed forces there’s a lot of stereotyping, you can’t judge someone by their job or by stereotypical characteristics. Out of the many hundreds or thousands involved in certain fields of work, not all of them are the same. I think my biggest point being, don’t let the stereotyping chase you away, if you find someone worth dating, no matter their line of work, snatch them up before it’s too late. Just don’t be in a hurry to jump into a relationship, if it is meant to happen it will happen. Don’t rush it, enjoy the process…
CJ isn’t the horseman that I pictured myself dating, but all of the other qualities, the fact that he treats me well and the fact that we do have similar interests and passions, but also differ enough that we’ll be able to balance each other out. I would take that any day… Having waited the 4 years to find a guy that treats me right and isn’t after my body, and his idea of a first date wasn’t to get me to go out to a bar, isn’t intimidated by the fact that I am independent and self-sufficient and he is more than willing to step into that role as my guardian and care taker…
I always maintained a mindset that I didn’t need a list of things I wanted in a man. I had a list of things I need and thus far he meets those needs. Yeah sure, we all have things we would like if we can get them, but those aren’t necessarily important, and even then, he meets those well. And again, do we have kinks and quirks that will need working out? Yeah, sure… Everybody does though, and he’s willing, and I’m willing which makes those bumps easier to smooth out. As with anything, we’ll ride it out, and see where our journey takes us.
From the country girl who’s heart has been and is still being earned by a soldier … My soldier …
God Bless y’all,