It’s YOUR story

You know, I don’t understand people some days…

I found out that an old friend of mine, is pregnant… She’s like 19 or 20… And has had more boyfriends than I can count…

About a year or so ago, I knew another young lady who was 17 when she got pregnant if I remember correctly… Also having more boyfriends than I can count…

Neither are married…

Another young lady I knew, married at 19, child at 20…

I know that being single sucks sometimes… You start hitting 19 and 20 and suddenly your group of friends gets smaller because everyone is working and trying to make a life, and getting married and having children and suddenly you find yourself the odd one out because you have no one to do anything with… And as it should be family takes priority and bills are important to pay…

You start getting shafted by your best friend because she will only freaking talk to you after she dumps her boyfriend or gets dumped… You’ve known her for 18 years and you still get the cold shoulder when she gets a boyfriend… -_-

So it leaves one learning to be happy by themselves… It can be a lonely road to travel when you have no one to talk to, and when you find someone who is willing to give you attention you feel kind of deprived…

But seriously, your value, your future and your life are SO much more important than being stuck as a single mom at 19… Being stuck as a single mom at 22… Do something with your life, don’t wrap yourself up in boyfriends or being so set on needing to have an established family by 25… YOU have SO MUCH potential whether you think you do or not and as bad as it might sound, being tied down at 19 or 20 isn’t it. You are still so young with so much life and ability in front of you, go live life till your 25 THEN look at starting a family… because as a teenager and even in your 20’s there’s so much growing and changing left to do… 20’s is still the time you’re figuring out how to “adult”. And that’s OK… I promise…

Now, I do understand on some occasions that someone gets lucky and they marry at 18 and 35 years later you are inspiring people and still as happy as you were the day you got married… And I LOVE it! I do!

But those cases are so far and few between… Kids these days (yes, anyone under 28 is still a kid…) are in such a hurry to get married… It’s ridiculous…

When I told my ex that I was done with our relationship the first words out of his mouth were, “I’m 27 years old, I was supposed to be living in my own house, married and having children by now!”

WHO SAYS?! So what if the rest of your friends are tied down, because trust me! Having kids before you’re ready SUCKS. I’ve known a handful of people who regret getting married, regret having had kids at the age they did… I watched a lady who broke down in tears at our dentist’s office because the receptionist asked how her day was going and she started bawling saying that she found out she was pregnant with twins and she hates kids…

And some that know me would tell me I don’t understand because I have absolutely no desire to have my own children…

But it’s not that I don’t understand… I would rather see people I care about living life and wishing they had their little bundles of joys earlier in life, over regretting they had their child and not doing anything with their life… Because children are a huge responsibility and once you end up with more than one or two, they are very consuming… shoot… one is consuming enough…

The thing is, when you can learn to be happy by yourself… when you learn to accept yourself without needing approval by a boy, or a girl (can’t forget about you guys…). You’ll attract a much better potential spouse… There’s a theory running around, and I forget who or where I heard it, but if you grow to be the best you can, and be the kind of person you yourself would want to marry, is the person you will eventually attract.

A little bit of patience goes a long way… Don’t jump in bed with the first boy or girl that flirts with you… Don’t be set on marrying that ONE person…

I wanted to have one boyfriend and one husband… I refuse to have sex before marriage, I refuse to let anyone push me into such…

If you love me enough, you’ll be my friend first… If you love me enough, you will respect my boundaries… If you love me enough you will wait for me, you won’t cheat on me because I’m making you wait a minimum of two years before we get married…

I may not have the best self-esteem, but I know how I want to be treated. And by golly I’m dang stubborn…

I am 22 years old, and have had one boyfriend… nothing more, nothing less… I spend my days working, studying, learning, now traveling to learn, spending time with family, working on my horses, and bettering myself… And right now, until I am ready to settle down, I have no interest in delving into a relationship…

There was a time I was hoping to be close to being able to adopt my first child at 25 or 28… But I’m ok with that not happening. If it doesn’t happen till I’m in my late 30’s, I’m ok with that… Even in my 40’s… I don’t care… I know I have a purpose in life, and right now, it’s not to have a family…

Anyway, again, I feel like I’m kind of all over the board here, feeling like I’m rambling… But to break it down, all that to say this…

Live life. Don’t be too quick to make life altering decisions. It’s your life, no one else’s and you deserve to live it to the fullest.

Patience is key, and don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment… It may seem right, you may feel like you’re on cloud nine and everything is hunky dory… But even the best things can be horrible for you…

But sometimes, the best things really are the best things… And it’s wonderful and grand… And I can guarantee you, the best things aren’t going to fall into your lap. You need to hustle, you need to grind, you need to give it everything you have…

I recently had an opportunity that did actually fall into my lap. Actually, I think it chased me down and tackled me… But it fell into my lap because of my background of everything I’ve accomplished this year… Because of my passion and desire to help and give and learn… And even though he knows I got fired from my job because I wouldn’t comply and do what I was told… He knows WHY I wouldn’t comply, because I wasn’t willing to throw away my foundation, my morals, or my integrity in order to appease my boss… He loves it. Because he agrees and I think it only confirmed that he wants me on his team.

Anyone can go anywhere in their life… We’re all stories in the end… Just make it a good one.

Make it yours, no matter how hard you have to work… Eat crap for however many years so you can live the life you want later. Push through, don’t give up. You’ve got this.

Now, keep your head screwed on straight and go hustle…

Jessica

 

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